hi darlings & darlangs (word coined post 377 verdict!)
I have often had problem in comprehending the meaning of words starting with mug shaped, non-consonent, relationship oriented letter 'U'. As the bad luck would have it, this time i got stuck with a bachcha bachcha knows the meanining sort of word- ULTIMATE.
After using this word day in & day out for 24 years of my life (oops! I told my age. my natraj plasto eraser is not erasing it, sm1 plz hlp) its such a maddening, sickening , killing feeling to forget its meaning(only Ghajini hit Amir can understand). Someone said consult Dictionary, I thought why bother a firangi lady who might have come to India for sight seeing or spiritual awakening or s@#, so on & so forth........
Anyways, all you sight seeing freaks, lemme tell ya, this Pantnagar (holy city of umpteen number of samosa shrines) is one 'must see once' place before you die, or, making it less horrifying, till you are healthy, happy and gay (no no sm1 plz erase this last one also). Shakespeare once said "if there is paradise on earth: its in PBW, its in PBW, its in PBW (indian railways shortie for Pantnagar)" ; place where Lord Rama, Lord Krishna & Lord Jesus were born; place where Shahjahan built the Great Pyramids; place where Madam Curie was crowned Miss World; place where Henry Ford sold Lizzat papad and so much more.(see how people have worked overtime to distort history & discredit PBW of all her glorious past). Still do come once. Mughals used all their might to take it to Agra; Brits tried tan, man, dhan & gun to take it to Kolkata but Phattu ke samose are still very much here.
I reached Bodh Gaya, set up samadhi under Lord Buddha's Banyan tree. January-nah no gyan, February- no gyan, March-nah, April- ah, May- oui ma, June-bhukh, July- BHOOOOOOKH!! To hell with the gyan. Ran back to PBW...hmph hmph hmph...reached Phattu's shop, bought one mouth watering, mind boggling, more importantly life saving dearest SAMOSA & gulp gulp gudup.... down it went....& suddenly TING - dimag ki ghanti baji- Ultimate means Phattu ka Samosa.
But then someone asked "have you heard of Ultra ultimate???". I said "Oh god, what's that????". God said " Son of a....... I am with Sarah Palin right now. Find out yourself Pappu". I thought this time i would set samadhi atop Qutab Minar to be nearer to god incase he decides to send some sms. I ordered 2 more of those palate tickling delicacies before starting for Delhi. Gulp gulp gulp gulp gudup gudup.....down they went.....& suddenly TING TING - dimag ki ghanti 2 baar baji- Ultra ultimate means Phattu ke 2 Samose.
God said "Pappu paas ho gaya".
Monday, August 17, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Welcome!!
Before we take all you readers (I know there are millions of you out there) on the trip of your lives, let us tell you how this blog came into existence...
I believe most of you would have heard the story of how Gautam Buddha was enlightened under a banyan tree while meditating... Well ours is a similar story... The two of us were sitting in front of Phattu ki dukan at the hallowed Badi Market in Pantnagar (don't get nervous if you do not know these famous places, they are a bit difficult to reach), ruminating after having a couple of samosas each, when we realised it was our divine purpose to spread knowledge, peace, madness, insomnia and the infamous foot and mouth disease (not to mention the foot in mouth disease too) among the rich and the poor, the beautiful and the not so beautiful, the young and the younger... in short, among everyone in this world.
It would be fitting to tell you all about the two people who have taken this task of unfathomable proportions upto themselves...
Manish: The perfect human being. A vet par excellence, his heart is full of compassion for the poor animals who cannot speak, and has taken it as the mission of his life to provide them succour. As far as the animals who are not that poor, or whose masters are not that poor, however, he has different ideas which shall not be broached upon at this point in time. He is also one of the seven original masters of English language (the other six died mysteriously after having dinner at his place and were detected as having abnormally high amounts of arsenic sulfide in their blood streams!!) and has a wit which is sharper than the sword of George W Bush.
Marvin the Paranoid Android: Sometimes erraneously referred to as Rishi, Marvin is, as the name suggests, paranoid. Also as the name suggests, he is an android, as in supposedly human. He drives a three wheeler which has got six wheels, and does nothing for a living. He does not believe in compassion of any sort. Though he claims to have a working knowledge of English, Hindi and Zulu apart from Sanskrit and German, experts are divided in their opinions...
These two misfits were united by some quirk of fate during the magnetic storm in the last to last eleven year solar cycle. It was at Campus School, Pantnagar that they were brainwashed into becoming what they are today- your potential tormentors... So having been warned adequately, if you continue to read on, it is at your own risk and these guys andthe government of India have no liability, explicit or implicit, in any damages or otherwise loss arising as a consequence, direct or indirect, of reading this blog.
I believe most of you would have heard the story of how Gautam Buddha was enlightened under a banyan tree while meditating... Well ours is a similar story... The two of us were sitting in front of Phattu ki dukan at the hallowed Badi Market in Pantnagar (don't get nervous if you do not know these famous places, they are a bit difficult to reach), ruminating after having a couple of samosas each, when we realised it was our divine purpose to spread knowledge, peace, madness, insomnia and the infamous foot and mouth disease (not to mention the foot in mouth disease too) among the rich and the poor, the beautiful and the not so beautiful, the young and the younger... in short, among everyone in this world.
It would be fitting to tell you all about the two people who have taken this task of unfathomable proportions upto themselves...
Manish: The perfect human being. A vet par excellence, his heart is full of compassion for the poor animals who cannot speak, and has taken it as the mission of his life to provide them succour. As far as the animals who are not that poor, or whose masters are not that poor, however, he has different ideas which shall not be broached upon at this point in time. He is also one of the seven original masters of English language (the other six died mysteriously after having dinner at his place and were detected as having abnormally high amounts of arsenic sulfide in their blood streams!!) and has a wit which is sharper than the sword of George W Bush.
Marvin the Paranoid Android: Sometimes erraneously referred to as Rishi, Marvin is, as the name suggests, paranoid. Also as the name suggests, he is an android, as in supposedly human. He drives a three wheeler which has got six wheels, and does nothing for a living. He does not believe in compassion of any sort. Though he claims to have a working knowledge of English, Hindi and Zulu apart from Sanskrit and German, experts are divided in their opinions...
These two misfits were united by some quirk of fate during the magnetic storm in the last to last eleven year solar cycle. It was at Campus School, Pantnagar that they were brainwashed into becoming what they are today- your potential tormentors... So having been warned adequately, if you continue to read on, it is at your own risk and these guys andthe government of India have no liability, explicit or implicit, in any damages or otherwise loss arising as a consequence, direct or indirect, of reading this blog.
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